Primeval series 4- episode 3 (apparently)

Back in the day we used to actually liveblog about Primeval; such was our hatred/secret love of the ITV series. Feeling a little nostaligic for those days, yesterday I decided that we’d do another live blow-by-blow review of episode 2 but this time we’d be using Twitter. I thought this was a good idea and we’d be hilarious and insightful. Turns out, not so much. The problem is that Primeval is no longer dreadful. It’s worse. It’s boring. At least when nothing made sense and every single second was outlandish and riddled with mistakes there was something for us to bitch about (and we do so love bitching) but I was certainly struggling to find anything at all to say about it. So, please find below the ‘highlights’ from our Twitter coverage of episode 2 (do the episodes have names? Do I care?) I’m so sorry. (If you do decide to follow us on Twitter, we’re @Blakeborough, @boysies and @thisisdavid)

@boysies: Budweiser open, shots of tequila taken, I am now ready for the nonsense that is #Primeval

@Blakeborough: This title sequence is still brilliantly awful. #primeval

@boysies: Looks as though Torchwood have come through the
anomaly #primeval

@boysies: Oh good something beige and pointy
toothed came through too, this episode has become 40% less
interesting #primeval

@Blakeborough: Ooh no pastels or broach for
Kooky #primeval

@boysies: Oh look kooky has chosen an outfit to
match her seat - I would actually like to slap her now #primeval

@boysies: First quarry of the season #primeval @Blakeborough:
Everything through the anomaly is very yellow. #primeval

@Blakeborough: RT: TribalSpaceman
#primeval is like a metaphor for life. Private funding ruins

@boysies: Things learned today - Dustin Hoffman has a
horrific insincere smile #skyatlantic #primevaladbreak

@thisisdavid: I am attempting to tweet about #Primeval. Sadly
nothing interesting has happened. What we have seen so far is the
redeployment of staff.

@Blakeborough: Kooky has a glow in the dark belt. Or there’s a black light that comes on during lockdown. #primeval

@boysies: #primeval is a bit ambitious this week, two
stroylines happening at the same time, in one episode, miracles
will never cease

@thisisdavid: I want Rex to maul the boring man to death. #Primeval

@boysies: What a beautiful London skyline

@thisisdavid: Well, it appears #ITV really would rather
#Primeval had remained cancelled.

Well there you have it. Last series I’d have tried to persuade you to give up an hour of your Saturday to watch Primeval and join us in our glorious moaning, but now I genuinely don’t have anything to recommend about it. We’ve not seen Hannah Spearritt’s pants once.