I wasn’t quite sure what would be my affair this week. It could have been something in the news but this week everything seems to be about horrific child abuse cases and that just makes me very sad. Also my opinions on it are probably the same (hopefully) as most people’s.

So, I decided to go for something topical and on a lighter note. Competitions.

What with Laura White’s smug face no longer gracing our screens on the X Factor, it seems that competitions and what are perceived as unfair decisions make some people extremely angry. Beyond all reason. I was sitting on the bus, minding my own business last Monday when I overheard two ladies discussing the weekend’s television viewing. Something about Coronation Street was said, but I don’t watch it, so didn’t care for that bit. What peaked my interest was their thoughts on the X Factor competition this year;

“I can’t believe that Laura White girl got knocked out on Saturday. She was like well good” (or something to that effect)

“Yeah I know, and I can’t believe that stupid bitch Diana is still in. She’s like well ugly and shit. (I live in Leicester so you have to add the accents in your own head) I wouldn’t get tired of punching that face.”

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but X Factor is a competition. On television. I couldn’t believe that someone cared that much about it to make a statement like that. About little Diana Vickers. Who is 17. And the only interesting thing about this year’s show; except of course the ever expanding hair of Cheryl Cole and Danni Minogue’s botox-d nostrils. Sigh.

Having said that, last night I attended the Miss Gay UK (and Ireland now) competition to cheer on the lovely Kirsten who won Miss East Midlands. Sadly she didn’t win, but I’m not all that surprised as winner Miss Birmingham had apparently taken her top off in a magazine (a la last year’s winner Miss London) and the whole shebang is held at Nightingale’s in Birmingham. I’m sort of glad that she did win though and good luck to her as I would have feared for my life if she hadn’t. It seems that a roomful of lesbians, plus alcohol, plus a competition, plus a contestant that most of the room know/have slept with/have seen once before equals a terrifying amount of venom and some truly unpleasant comments.

I think I can resoundingly state that having attended Miss Gay UK two years running to cheer on my girlfriend and then one of my best friends that unless Misters Blackett, Morgan or Small win Miss Gay East Midlands next year I will not be going for a third year just to put up with some horribly bitchy women who have had far too much to drink and feel the need to be vile about the contestants.

Unless of course Miss Coffield Brown would like to enter? Now that would be something.