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Why I Think That Billie Is An Odious Cretin

I’m sure by now you are aware of ‘The Joy Of Teen Sex,’ if not by personal experience but at least by word of mouth. Get your head out of the gutter! I am of course talking about the Channel 4 programme which pokes penises, shows odd sex acts and taught me that nipples can go in many different directions than I first suspected.

I can’t overstate how important I think this programme and those that promote the understanding of sex are. I could easily rant (again) about how weird I find it that blood, guts and murder on TV are perfectly acceptable but it is deemed morally reprehensible if some one slips a nip. I could also go on for far too long about how sex education in the UK is an absolute joke. And it wouldn’t be too much of a hop leap and a jump to use this programme to vent about the hypocrasy of our fabulous tabloids and how dangerous their mixed messages are. One week they are yelling that the UK has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy and demanding the government do something about it. Then the next week mis-representing reports to make it sound like primary school children are going to get touched up by pedophilic men. No wonder teenagers aren’t asking questions and STI’s are on the rise.

But no - this is about something much worse. Billie JD Porter*.

If you haven’t caught this lady in action just think the absolute opposite of the amazing Dawn Porter. Where as Dawn would get her hands dirty in what ever weird situation she had decided to place herself in, Billie has already made her mind up that, she won’t like it and who ever does X, Y or Z are clearly fucked and should be judged. Her smug ‘I’m so London face’ ruins the whole point of the show, her complete lack of understanding of sexual relationships and the different ways people enjoy their bodies casts a dark shadow over ‘The Joy Of Teenage Sex’ which otherwise does an excellent job of celebrating and guiding young people through their sexual activity.

*This implies she became a groupie and did a couple of freelance free interviews - can any one smell a family member that works in television that helped her get onto the box?