Make My Body Younger


This BBC3 show looks like it’s leading the way in the new generation of ‘well-being’ reality shows. We’ve already had the makeover shows that go to drastic lengths to get the outside of our bodies looking and feeling younger; but this one scares the participant into trying to better themselves from the inside out.

Episode One showed us Stewart, a 25 year old geeza who enjoyed 30-60 cigarettes per day, and a whole week’s recommended intake of alcohol per night at the weekend, as well as a whole cocktail of cocaine, ketamines, dope and speed. His partner, Donnella basically said ‘pack it in, or get out’ which seems fair. On applying for the show Stewart’s thoughts were that he might have a bit of a dodgy liver, but be fine and dandy – this meant that by the time he was told he had a 68 year old brain, and 91% sperm mutations, but his liver was practically perfect, I was feeling quite sadistically pleased.

I’m not sure whether the intended audience is supposed to be people who are in a similar situation to Stewart, or people who can boast that they’re not – I know I certainly enjoyed not having a nearly septuagenarian brain at the mere cost of not snorting cocaine, and boozing my way through the weekend.

Having said that, as a testament to Stewart’s effort and willpower, his tests on his return (3 months later) showed his heart’s age as down to 28, and his brain’s age as down to 18 – which begs the question, would you rather have a 18 year old brain or a 25 year old brain? hmmmm

I thought the idea of this show was brilliant, it’s the next step in personal improvement/entertainment, but the way it was carried out – the theatricality of the “living autopsy”, and presenter George Lamb having to count up out loud from Stewart’s biological age to his constituent part’s individual ages (which got a bit tedious when we got to his brain) – made it feel like it could’ve been 30 minute programme rather than a 2 hour programme

Anyway, well done Stewart, and sorry to readers for the fact that this has taken so long and that I’ve completely missed the 2nd episode and have nothing to say on that front!

Orrie vwar!