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Until about 3 minutes ago, I’d totally forgotten that we saw this yesterday.

Igor is a new CG animation from a studio that isn’t Pixar or Dreamworks. Which probably should have warned us away.

John Cusack voices Igor, a hunchbacked mad-scientists assistant who longs to be the greatest Evil Scientist in the whole of Malaria (sigh). Igor creates a Frankenstein-esque monster from various bits of dead women after his master (played by a disappointing John Cleese) snuffs it in an experiment-gone-wrong moment. Unfortunately, the monster isn’t all that evil…in fact she’s Eva. Hrumph. Mr Small, sat next to me uttered quite loudly at this point; “NO! That’s not right! Eva is in Wall-E!” Quite right too. Find your own name.

So, Igor decides to try and force Eva to be evil so that he can win the science fair and Igor and Eva predictably begin to fall in love. Although there are one or two funny moments where Igor convinces Eva she’s auditioning for the part of an evil Annie, on the whole the plot is horribly weak and evidently forgettable. The voice choices are strange too. John Cusack, although usually very good in films where we can see him, doesn’t have the most interesting of voices and his slightly sappy well-spoken tones started to piss me off. Eddie Izzard and Will and Grace’s Sean Hayes are outstanding in their roles respectively as the rival scientist Dr. Schadenfreude and Brain, but their unique vocal quirks are let down by some truly awful scripting.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of voices, why is Myleene Klass in this film? Did she have any lines? Does anyone care? Shouldn’t she be on a beach somewhere twirling around in a M & S bikini while Twiggy watches her through those seaside binoculars.

I really can’t be bothered to write any more about this film. It saddens me that what looked like a Tim Burton-ish animated comedy turned out to be this pile of drivel that even jokes about blind orphans couldn’t save. Fair enough, it wasn’t bad enough to walk out of; Halloween I’m looking at you, and cocking a glance towards Transformers, but it didn’t thrill me. Oh and the advertising is annoying too. Contrary to what the advert suggest, the suicidal rabbit is not called ‘Funny Bunny’ and Brain is not called ‘Insane Brain’.

Poor effort.